white noise

Yesterday the back of my skull felt perforated as if someone with stiletto heels was dancing around in there and slipped through a few times. Still, I managed to get a few things done with crafting and around the house. Today, my head doesn’t hurt nearly as much, but I’m tired and sluggish. I want to curl up in bed and sleeeeeeeep.

Dr. Bivins is changing my medication now. He’s weaning me off the Topamax and trying me on Lyrica. I like this because I think the Topamax is just too damned designer expensive. Jon is concerned, though, because he thinks the Topamax has had exceptional results in knocking out my pain. He observes that my energy levels have definitely improved, my moments of Fibrofog have decreased, and even my memory has improved. He’s worried I won’t get the same benefits from the Lyrica. Hopefully I will. If not, we can always go back to low doses of the Topamax, I think. Either way, I don’t think a 200 mg dose is doing any more for me than a 100 mg dose does. There’s no doubting the Topamax has helped me a lot, but I hadn’t made these other observations for myself that Jon made.

Sleep and stress are still my worst enemies. I guess in that sense, I’m still my own worst enemy. I’m not sure how to get myself to sleep. If I’m wired, I’m wired, and no amount of coaxing, cajoling, doping or meditating seems to unwire me long enough to get the rest I need. I do, however, believe sleep deprivation is the foundation for most of my emotional rollercoaster rides, hence the reason I don’t seem able to handle stress very well any more. If I can get a handle on my sleep, I think stress will follow suit.