white noise

It troubles me to think, to believe that for one to succeed at anything and get any where in this world one must be willing to lie outright or at the very least manipulate the truth. I live by my honesty and always have. Today, however, I come think that my unwillingness to barter with the truth may be why I often fail to get to where I want to be.

I wanted the opportunity to sell handmade items at local arts and crafts fairs, but many of those fairs require that I possess a business license in order to register and attend. My first attempt to secure a business license failed. Why? Because I was honest about what materials I might use now or in the future. These included household quantities of solvent based products such as mineral spirits, paint thinner, or varnish. If I were to continue my crafting endeavors as a hobby, use of these products would be acceptable. However, using them exactly the same way in terms of home occupation subjects them to new rules and regulations. Which means I can’t use them.

The solution to my problem seems easy enough. I simply won’t offer refinishing/refurbishing services in my business. Nor will I conduct any workshops here on the premises. Hopefully this will tip the scale in my favor. Even so, I doubt myself. I wrestle with the idea that in order to get what I want I have to be willing to compromise my truth and play some manipulative, kiss-ass game with all the powers that be and I’m not partial to feeling like some grease-dipped weasel.

Jon tells me I get too discouraged and give up too easily. I think he’s right. I’ve lost the will to stand up for myself and fight; it tires me very quickly these days. I must have froze to death before reaching the peak at Mt. Everest.