white noise

My email is stuck in limbo. If by some chance you’re one of the friends I have who actually does poke your nose around here to see what I’m up to, just know I’m really not ignoring you. I only do that on the twelfth Tuesday of every month. Honest.

The temperature is slowly creeping up, but while it’s not horrifically hot in the house, I wanted to make a quick catch up post and show off the cabinet Jon bought me for my birthday.

I’ve been thrashing myself to death against photography the last month, caught somewhere between wanting to take simple pictures to post quickly and good photos that take a higher level of dedication. I’ve resisted Jon — not at every turn — but certainly more than I probably should. Each time I take pictures by his instruction, though, when they aren’t incredibly fuzzy because I can’t hold the camera still to save my life, they turn out much better than the point-and-click auto method.

I am resistant to the time involved in enhancing my photography abilities only because as I introduce yet another skill to the things I need to learn, I find myself stretching thin and becoming unable to perfect any one craft. Were I an endless fountain of energy, it wouldn’t seem like such a huge undertaking, but as I develop one skill, another falls short. I devote less time to writing, to art, or to maintaining the website (which in itself can feel more enveloping, like a lifestyle, than simply a set of skills).

Then comes that evil, perfectionist hag who lives deep within my psyche, rearing her ugly mug and wrapping her toothless maw around words that tell me I’m sub par. I wonder if she’d shut up if I buried her under 16 lbs. of mint chocolate chip ice cream. It’d definitely be high on my list of fun experiments to try. But, (sigh) I’ve had my quota of Cold Stone this week (a medium “The Pie Who Loved Me” shared with the super hubby).

Truth is, while I still battle perfectionist tendencies, I’ve learned the consequences of being that perfectionist and I refuse to do that to myself again. I’m the tortoise in this race and need to take all these skills in that TurtleZen stride I’ve been developing. I’ve seen the pictures I’ve taken that are flash-dependent. They’re not fuzzy, but they’re just not as good as the photos when I’m controlling the shutter speed and aperture manually. It’s not instant gratification, certainly, but I suppose it will be worth the effort in the long run.

Happy day!