white noise

Not sleeping. This is bad juju, honestly. I run out of gas easily enough as it is, but I spent the greater part of today unable to function. I finally curled up with my NaNo novel This Kingdom, the first of the Caretaker Chronicles, and got to sorting through the chapters. The story isn’t nearly as tragic as I first anticipated. In fact, it seems to be in much better shape than I am without sleep these last few weeks.

I was showing progress in getting to sleep at the same hour on a more regular basis, and I think it helped. It doesn’t take much to throw the whole schedule off, though. One night not being able to get to sleep and that’s it, the battle is on. If I had to wager a guess though, I’d have to say the Lyrica serves me much better than the Topamax did where sleep is concerned. I think the Topamax (for me, anyhow) is far superior in benefits. I believe I hurt more now than I did two weeks ago. Instead of simply falling prey to the pain, I’m making an effort to keep track of how I feel.

I sent the letter to Bivins. My guess is if he hasn’t seen it yet, he will come Monday. The knot in my stomach will probably hang around for a week or two before I forget that I sent it. I hope so, anyhow. I’d much rather forget than to keep dreading the drop of the clichéd other foot. What will be will be; let go and let God.