white noise

Not sleeping. This is bad juju, honestly. I run out of gas easily enough as it is, but I spent the greater part of today unable to function. I finally curled up with my NaNo novel This Kingdom, the first of the Caretaker Chronicles, and got to sorting through the chapters. The story isn’t nearly as tragic as I first anticipated. In fact, it seems to be in much better shape than I am without sleep these last few weeks.

I was showing progress in getting to sleep at the same hour on a more regular basis, and I think it helped. It doesn’t take much to throw the whole schedule off, though. One night not being able to get to sleep and that’s it, the battle is on. If I had to wager a guess though, I’d have to say the Lyrica serves me much better than the Topamax did where sleep is concerned. I think the Topamax (for me, anyhow) is far superior in benefits. I believe I hurt more now than I did two weeks ago. Instead of simply falling prey to the pain, I’m making an effort to keep track of how I feel.

I sent the letter to Bivins. My guess is if he hasn’t seen it yet, he will come Monday. The knot in my stomach will probably hang around for a week or two before I forget that I sent it. I hope so, anyhow. I’d much rather forget than to keep dreading the drop of the clichéd other foot. What will be will be; let go and let God.

For the third day in a row, I have a headache. It’s the type that starts at the eyes and wraps over the top of the head, ending at the base of the skull. At the heart of the ache, my head throbs. Naprosyn hasn’t phased this beast at all so far, so tonight I’m trying plain old Bayer aspirin. I’ve a sneaking suspicion it’s due to lack of sleep; we haven’t been sleeping much lately and I can feel the effects of that ranging from mood swings to typical aches associated with FMS.

I’ve written my doctor a letter but find I’m terrified to send it. Nothing like a little openness to set myself up for more disappointment.

Hmmm. Yes, I’m quite pleased with the new blog theme. I had to translate the Bulgarian stuff out and add the search (which I borrowed from the WordPress classic theme).

Also, check out the pretty rainbow graphic Jon modified for me. I’m a gimp when it comes to Photoshop, but I’m learning how to be a graphics designer, too (albeit slowly). Big, thankful smooches to my sweety for all the help!

The more I learn about the writing process, the more amazed and infatuated I become. The elements that I’d missed or misunderstood when I was younger have helped me learn to treat my stories more like sculptures. Writing is a process and there’s nothing delicate about it. An idea that fades or fails on the page can be shifted and turned, placed on the page again. If it still doesn’t work, toss it out and start again.

The toughest part of revision is finding the ability to see the same pages over and over without dulling the senses. Once the story loses its freshness, it’s easy to miss even the obvious problems. Perhaps there is much to be said about setting a piece aside to cool for a while and starting something new, IF one has the discipline to return to the story after a week or two has passed.

Hmm. Maybe I need to try more of this.

If I’m getting sick again, I will scream. Loud. Back to bed now.

You scored as Otherkin:

You are Otherkin. You identify with otherworldy beings and feel you are truly something other than human. You are only biding your time here until you can return to where you truly belong. You seek others who share your yearnings and spend your time commiserating with those you like and mocking the ones you don’t.

Otherkin … 95%

True Alternative … 85%

Magician … 65%

Mystic … 65%

White Lighter … 60%

Spiritualist … 60%

Discordian … 60%

Aimless Eclectic … 50%
What Subversive Alternative Paradigm Are You?
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